Whether it’s marital problems, flunking out of school, or even being afraid of a simple trip to the dentist, television always gave us great Sages to guide our characters through the tough times.  The age of the TV mentor is nearly dead, as today’s television advice givers are seriously flawed individuals.  Look at Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation (Nick Offerman), or Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) on 30 Rock.  While they are mentors for the protagonist, they aren’t exactly the perfect human beings.  The days of Mike Brady are long gone.  But let’s look back at a time where television did give us those flawless human beings: My Top 5 Favorite Television Mentors…

5) Dr. Jason Seaver (Alan Thicke) – Growing Pains:

-Well, the man was a psychiatrist, so obviously he’s going to be able to dish out some good advice.  While I have him #5 on the list, he kind of failed more often than not.  Let’s be honest – his only challenge was against his slacker son Mike (Kirk Cameron).  How successful really was Jason with Mike though?  He barely graduated, and he remained lazy for much of his time at Alf Landon Junior College.  Eventually, he got it together, but it was a long battle for Jason Seaver.  In the end, Jason deserves a spot on this list because Mike was a tough adversary.  But I think the real evidence of his wise teachings came later in the series when Mike mentored troubled homeless teen Luke, played by Leonardo DiCaprio.  The student becomes the Master.  Well done, Jason.

Go to Method of Advice Giving: Jason often took the ‘you have so much potential’ approach with Mike.

Vintage Jason Moment: In the sixth season premiere, ‘Mike’s Choice,’ him and Jason have an epic showdown, where Mike is threatening to drop out of college, and move to New York to become a star on Broadway.  Jason really goes all out here, but the result is Mike’s room being completely emptied out the next morning.  Even though Jason failed, Mike eventually returns, and their bond is stronger than ever.

4) Master Splinter (Peter Renaday, voice) – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Original Series):

-You can’t have a Television Mentor list without Master Splinter.  When the ooze affected both him and the Turtles, Splinter knew there was a deeper purpose for why this happened.  Once known as the great Ninja Master Hamato Yoshi, Splinter teaches the four turtles martial arts, and the rest is history.  Splinter was always one for wise advice, but when it came to training the turtles, that’s where he really shined.  Oh, and Splinter was not averse to kicking some ass himself.

Go to Method of Advice Giving: Meditation was Splinter’s forte, as well as constantly trying to get the Turtles to eat sushi rather than pizza.  He failed on that one.

Vintage Splinter Moment: In the final episode, ‘Divide and Conquer,’ the Turtles have finally defeated the evil Lord Dregg.  At the end of the episode, Splinter tells his sons he is no longer their sensei, as they are now equals.  Wow…that’s some heavy shit.  I probably would have held Michelangelo (Townsend Coleman, voice) back though.

3) Wilson Wilson, Jr. (Earl Hindman) – Home Improvement:

-First of all, his name is Wilson Wilson…let’s reflect on that for a moment.  Out of everyone on this list,Wilson was probably counted on the most to give advice.  Seriously, if Tim (Tim Allen) wasn’t next door neighbors with this guy, he’d probably be divorced: No doubt about it.  But it wasn’t just Tim who relied on the eccentric weird-o. Jill (Patricia Richardson) also used him from time to time, and sometimes even the Taylor boys would drop by the famous fence.  I think Al (Richard Karn) even sought his advice later in the series.  But whether he was testing his maracas, or squeezing his apples late at night, it was never a bother for good ole Wilson.  And the fact that you never see his face just adds to the mystic…

Go to Method of Advice Giving: Very obscure philosophical references.

Vintage Wilson Moment: I can’t really pinpoint to one, they all kind of ran together.  There are a few episodes where we see the inside of his house, and that really sums up the character.

2) Danny Tanner (Bob Saget) – Full House:

-I think Danny had the benefit of being aided by really cheesy and sappy music.  This really elevated his legendary speeches.  Danny Tanner was a simple man.  He loved his family, wanted his house clean, and always appreciated a good hug.  Proof that he’s a wise sage is when the mom of Stephanie’s (Jodie Sweetin) friend asks him, ‘Do you always sound like a fortune cookie?’  Yup, that’s Danny Tanner.  Whether he’s giving his three daughters advice, Jesse (John Stamos) and Joey (Dave Coulier), or even a total stranger, Danny didn’t fuck around.  He wanted to solve any problem that came his way.

Go to Method of Advice Giving: He’s all about the love of a good family.

Vintage Danny Moment: Honestly, it’s the very first episode titled ‘Our Very First Show.’  This was really his first big test.  DJ (Candace Cameron) wants to move down to the basement, because she doesn’t want to live with Stephanie.  But Danny senses there are bigger issues at foot, including the loss of their mother a few months ago.  This is Danny’s first big speech about family togetherness…now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to grab a box of tissues.  I’m getting a little misty eyed.

1) George Feeny (William Daniels) – Boy Meets World:

-It’s not even close.  The guy has his own call (The Feeney Call) for crying out loud!  Feeney was more than just a teacher: He was a living breathing Master.  Plus, this guy by far had the biggest challenge.  He had to deal with Cory (Ben Savage) whining about his girlfriend all the time, Shawn (Rider Strong), who was just a complete mess, and then Cory’s brother Eric (Will Friedle), a total psycho-path.  Feeny strongly believed in the teacher/student bond, and in the last episode where he sends off all the main characters with one final speech, he is vindicated.  If everyone had a George Feeny telling them what to do, we’d all be kicking ass at life.

Go to Method of Advice Giving: He’s really a combination of all the previous methods.  Everything is in his repute. 

Vintage Feeny Moment: In the Season 4 episode, ‘Quiz Show,’ Cory, Shawn, and Topanga (Danielle Fishel) keep winning on a game show by answering useless pop- culture questions.  When their arrogance gets them in trouble in class while Feeny tries to teach them about Gutenberg and the printing press, Feeny goes on a glorious rant about their generation, and how they all use such great technology for useless information.  It was epic.

Well, there you have it.  My favorite TV Mentors.  As the great Feeny once said, ‘Class dismissed.’

If you’ve been watching 30 Rock from the beginning, you know exactly what you’re going to get with this episode.  It’s clear 30 Rock will never really challenge itself again, but there’s nothing wrong with that.  We can always rely on consistent laughs, and it’s pretty impressive they’ve managed to do this for 5+ years with so many one-note characters.

This episode pretty much rehashes elements we’ve seen before.  Liz is acting really happy, and taking on life with a positive outlook, which we can only assume won’t last.  Jack (Alec Baldwin) flirts with making big decisions with his heart, and not his business sense, which we can only assume…won’t last.  But, it’s still funny.  And Liz and Jack have always been the two characters that keep the show at least one foot grounded in reality, as everything around them is pretty much now a fantasy world of wackiness and absurdity.

This is especially apparent with the Kenneth plotline.  To be honest, I’ve never been the biggest Kenneth fan.  He and Tracy are truly the one-note characters, but Tracy still cracks me up, while I’ve been over Kenneth for three years.  Kenneth believes the rapture is coming, so Frank (Judah Friedlander) and company screw with this head.  I got a few chuckles out of this, but the end gets so nuts, that I think they were just trying to hard, and I lost all interest.

The absolute best part of the episode is Jenna’s new career as a Simon Cowell like judge on a rip-off of America’s Got Talent, appropriately titled America’s Kidz Got Singing.  Jane Krakowski has always been the funniest aspect of the show, and she is hysterical in this cheap knock off.  This is no surprise, as the best jokes from 30 Rock stem from the fake shows/skits.  The Queen of Jordan reality show was the highlight of last season, and I’m happy to say D’Fwan (Tituss Burgess) makes an appearance in this episode.

If you’ve never really been into this show, then this won’t change your mind.  If you’re a fan, get ready for more of the same.  It looks like we are in for another solid season of 30 Rock.

Rating: 7 out of 10 (Good)

10) Midnight in Paris

-Clever as hell, and a lot of fun.  I didn’t really know anything about this before going in, and I’m glad I didn’t.  This has to be Owen Wilson’s best work since 2001’s the Royal Tenenbaums.  Everyone in the cast is fantastic, especially Marion Cotillard as Adriana, the woman of Owen Wilson’s character’s (Gil) desires when he enters the 1920’s literary world.  Woody Allen hits this out of the park.  We have no idea how this little fantasy world works, but we don’t care…its pure fun.

9) Captain America: The First Avenger

-A great start to a superhero franchise.  Chris Evans really sells you on this character, especially when he’s skinny Steve Rogers.  And this is one of the few superhero films that actually has a charismatic leading lady in Hayley Atwell.  And how can you go wrong with Hugo Weaving as a villain?  Great cast, great hero, great villain, and great score, this was one stellar ride.

8) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II

-While this is eighth on my list, it should have been one.  This is the most disappointing film of the year.  The last fifteen minutes (not including the epilogue) are a complete joke.  The final confrontation between Harry and Voldemort, and everything going on around it was a huge misfire.  It de-rails the entire movie.  It’s really a shame, because everything leading up to it met my expectations.  Alan Rickman was incredible as Snape, and this movie really does have some truly powerful moments, but the cartoonish and comedic final battle hinders it from reaching legendary status. 

7) Rise of the Planet of the Apes

-Certainly the biggest surprise of the year.  After Tim Burton’s 2001 re-make of the original, I completely wrote this franchise off.  I could have cared less about this film.  But when I started hearing about how great it was, I had to check it out, and wow, it was spectacular.  I’m not going to sit here and say Andy Serkis should be nominated for an Oscar, but what he does as Caesar the Ape is impressive.  And that’s the real heart of the movie.  But the human characters are also strong.  Even James Franco gives a good performance, and I normally don’t like him.  But Caesar is the star of the show, and he’s one of the more compelling characters of the year.

6) Carnage

-This is a really funny movie, but not in a laugh-out-loud kind of way, more of a chuckle to yourself kind of way.  This is just four characters going at it in one setting for eighty minutes, that’s it.  When the child of one pair of parents hits the child of another pair of parents, they meet and talk it out, but it just spins out of control as these people go ape shit towards each other, and it’s just hysterical to watch.  Jodie Foster, John C. Reilly, Christoph Waltz, and Kate Winslet are a winning ensemble.

5) The Artist

-This is a silent film, and I was very skeptical, thinking it was going to be nothing more than a gimmick with no real substance.  I was dead wrong, as the way it uses silence to tell its story is just brilliant.  Director Michel Hazanavicius is masterful as the tone shifts from light and happy to heavy and dark, but the transition is seamless.  The two leads (Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo) really give this film its charisma though.  Trust me, I could careless about silent films, but I loved this movie.  Don’t be afraid, and check it out.

4) Thor

-The perfect blend of high octane action and character development.  Director Kenneth Branagh went into this with a very serious approach, taking cartoonish and silly material, and turning it into compelling drama.  Not only are the visuals glorious to look at, but the acting is top-notch, especially newcomer Chris Hemsworth as Thor, who just commands the screen. 

3) Warrior

-If you weren’t already excited about Tom Hardy’s upcoming performance as Bane in next summer’s the Dark Knight Rises, just go see Warrior.  Not only does Hardy give one of the best performances of the year, but his fighting scenes are absolutely vicious.  Joel Edgerton and Nick Nolte are also equally impressive.  This film takes the sports movie genre and turns it on its head.  It’s packed with big time emotion.  The final scene is my personal favorite from any movie this whole year.  It’s been compared to the Fighter, but I say it’s ten times better.

2) X-Men: First Class

-It gave me Batman Begins vibes, and when you start throwing around those comparisons, you know you got something special.  James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender as Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr out-do Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen.  There had been four X-Men related films before this, and First Class is by far the best.  There’s so much shit going on, including great performances by Jennifer Lawrence as Raven/Mystique and Nicholas Hoult as Hank McCoy/Beast.  What impressed me about this film most of all is that you know the ending, but it’s still heartbreaking to watch.  First Class is riveting from start to finish.

1) Drive

-I had no idea what to expect with this film, and when the credits rolled, I was in total awe.  Ryan Gosling gives the best performance of the year with barely any dialogue.  His facial expressions could cut through steel.  He is absolutely fascinating.   The supporting cast of Bryan Cranston, Carey Mulligan, Albert Brooks, and Ron Perlman are also brilliant.  The tone of this film is so intense, and I was just on the edge of my seat the entire time.  The music is outstanding.  This is the #1 film of the year with a bullet.

There is no doubt this is the best Muppet movie since The Muppets Take Manhattan way back in 1984…but it could have been better.  Don’t get me wrong: I had a blast with this film.  Every time the Muppets are on screen, they are at the top of their game.  Every Muppet related gag hits those Muppet high notes.  What hinders this from being great though are the non-Muppet moments.  It’s not that these moments are bad, but I found myself asking, ‘Why am I settling for this?  Just go back to the Muppets!’

Jason Segal plays Gary, an upbeat teacher who lives in the small town known as…Smalltown.  He’s got a girlfriend named Mary (Amy Adams), and a brother Walter, who is actually a puppet, and you guessed it, a huge fan of the Muppets.  Here’s the problem.  These guys dominate the first 15-20 minutes of the film, including a huge musical number.  And like I said, it’s not that these scenes are bad, but they are mediocre.  I don’t understand why they are getting extended screen time for a film called the Muppets.  I really don’t care about Gary and Walter, I’m sorry.  What really irked me though is once the actual Muppets show up, these characters are still on screen for a fair amount of time.  That’s really ridiculous.  Once the Muppets arrive, it’s really time to let them take over the film, yet we are still peppered with Gary and Mary centric musical numbers.  I want the Muppets!

Now like I said, every thing involving the Muppets is damn good.  My favorite part of the film is just gathering up all the Muppets, and seeing what they’ve been up to.  Fozzie’s (Eric Jacobson, voice) nightclub act is brilliant, Gonzo’s (Dave Goelz, voice) plumbing business is hilarious, and Animal (Eric Jacobson, voice)…well, I’m not going to spoil what Animal’s been up to, but it’s really funny.  And it’s not just the main Muppets who have their time in the spotlight.  Muppets like Statler (Steve Whitmire, voice) & Waldorf (Dave Goelz, voice), Beaker (Steve Whitmire, voice), Roowlf (Matt Vogel, voice), they all have awesome moments.  And as much as I’m complaining about the non-Muppet characters having too many scenes, I don’t feel like any Muppet got short changed.  Gonzo is really only in two scenes, but they are fantastic scenes.  Even with limited screen time, every Muppet leaves their mark, and I really appreciated that.

Even with all the Muppets though, this film was a bit cheapened by too many celebrity cameos.  To the film’s credit, I like a lot of the cameos such as Jack Black, Rashida Jones, Zack Galifianakis, and Neil Patrick Harris, who only has one line, but it’s probably the best thing he could have said.  But there are so many useless cameos just for the sake of having cameos.  Whoopi Goldberg, Selena Gomez, John Krasinski, and James Carville…really?!  James Carville?!  He’s just there answering a telephone!  Is that necessary!  Even Donald Glover from Community, who I really like as an actor, randomly comes in, and there’s just no point to it.  Stuff like that really annoyed me.  It’s just so self-indulgent.

One of the human actors who I did really like though was Chris Cooper as the evil oil tycoon.  Cooper was perfect, and this wasn’t just some random cameo, he actually played a key character, so that was fine.

At the end of the day, this is a Muppet movie, and it hit me pretty hard.  I just wish a lot of the celebrity cameos and hoopla were trimmed down so I could spend more quiet moments with just the Muppets.  If you’re a fan of the Muppets, you will really like this movie.  If you aren’t, I still think you’ll find some enjoyment, and maybe that’s why a lot of these non-Muppet people are even in the film in the first place.  What really pissed me off though is when Kermit (Steve Whitmire, voice) has this amazing speech at the end, but it’s completely undermined by a plot point they throw in during the credits!  That’s such bull shit!  You can’t just throw in a major resolution during the credits!!  Unbelievable!!

Rating: 7.5 out of 10 (Very Good) 

On February 7^th 2011, I watched 1951’s Superman and the Mole Men.  That was the day I embarked on my superhero journey of watching every single superhero movie ever made (according to Wikipedia’s list).  I can honestly say I am now an expert in this subject.  And while this series will never be finished and always on going, I am officially up to date with superhero movies.  I could sit here and reflect for another ten paragraphs, but let’s just get to it.  I’ve seen a lot of crazy crap the last few months, but now the time has come to finally rank every single one of these movies from worst to first.

But before we do, just a quick little spiel on how I ultimately ranked these movies.  Bottom-line, I mostly went on gut feeling: Would I rather watch this movie as opposed to this other one on a given day?  That’s basically the question I asked myself.  The general overall quality of the movie was certainly the most important factor I considered though.  Also keep in mind that I changed my mind on some of these films from the original post.  After thinking about it, maybe I liked it less, or maybe I liked it even more.  I’ll also admit that there’s a little bit of personal bias with some of these movies that’s based on nostalgia or just a preference for some characters over others.  And sometimes I may rank a movie with a lower score higher than a movie with a better score.  This is prevalent with a lot of the animated movies.  The fact of the matter is that the animated movies are on a smaller scale than the live action ones.  And that leads me to another determining factor: Expectations.  There may be certain movies you see here that are probably better quality wise to some of the films they lost out to, but that’s because I was probably expecting a lot more from them.  For example, if you expect a football team to go 14-2, but they go 8-8, that’s a lot worse than a team that was supposed to go 7-9, and they go 7-9.  That’s how I justified it.  And don’t forget, after the rankings, I also break down the overall category winners I did throughout the series, including some new ones…

And remember, this list is always changing.  Whenever a new superhero movie is released, the list will be adjusted.  But enough rambling, it’s finally time…

THE GREEN LIGHT’S OFFICIAL SUPERHERO MOVIE RANKINGS:

114) Batman & Robin (1997)

-It’s funny, because I can look back at Batman & Robin now as a blessing.  Without it we don’t get the Nolan Batman movies.  But at the time, this was an abomination.  Maybe in terms of quality it’s not the worst superhero movie ever made, but because it’s a Batman film, it ripped my heart out.  Congratulations Batman & Robin:  You are the 114^th greatest superhero movie ever made.

Original Rating: 1.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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113) Son of the Mask (2005)

-This is simply one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.  It’s not funny, it’s unsettling, and it was the hardest movie for me sit through out of this entire series…enough said.

Original Rating: 2 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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112) Catwoman (2004)

-All you need to know about this movie is that it’s edited and shot in such an awkward and uncomfortable manner, that it even makes Halle Berry look unappealing at times.  It’s just an ugly film to sit through. Halle Berry’s performance is deserving of the Razzie she won.

Original Rating: 2.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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111) Spawn (1997)

-I just hate the tone of this film.  It’s one of the most obnoxious movies I’ve ever seen.  I detest the Clown character.  He’s repulsive, and not in any kind of amusing way.  The tone is all over the place.  It’s just a complete mess.

Original Rating: 3 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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110) The Phantom (1996)

-I can safely say this is the most boring film on the list.  Man, this was a struggle.  Billy Zane stinks.

Original Rating: 4 out of 10  Revised Rating: 3 out of 10

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109) Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997)

-This is television level production.  From the acting, to the music, to the special effects, it just screams television. 

Original Rating: 3.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 3 out of 10

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108) The Spirit (2008)

-This is another one where the tone was all over the place.  It would be lower on the list had it not made me unintentionally laugh here and there.  The direction by Frank Miller is a complete disaster.

Original Rating: 3 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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107) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

-Much like Batman & Robin, this pulled out my heart and stepped on it.  This movie takes a giant shit on everything I love about Ninja Turtles.  Shredder is gone.  The villains blow bags.  And for some reason, the Turtles have the measles.  Usually I can at least rely on the Turtles to make me laugh, but here they just make random pop culture references out of no where.  I hate this movie.

Original Rating: 4.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 3.5 out of 10

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106) Fantastic Four (2005)

-What makes this movie even worse than the 1994 unreleased version is that it actually had money behind it.  There’s nothing here.  It’s campy, uninteresting, and just sucks the energy out of the room.  I can barely remember this film, and I’ve seen it twice.  Chris Evans has one funny moment with Michael Chiklis, and that’s it.  Oh, and Jessica Alba is a bad actress.

Original Rating: 4 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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105) Lightspeed (2006)

-Talk about another movie I don’t remember at all.  This was just some random TV movie, so whatever.  Although, there is one moment I remember pretty well, but more on that later…

Original Rating: 4 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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104) Condorman (1981)

-While this one had a couple decent performance and some cool gadgets, it’s ultimately a comedy that’s not very funny.  The biggest issue was the lead actor Michael Crawford, who’s really relied on to sell his charisma, but it just wasn’t there.  The theme song was kind of funny though.

Original Rating: 4.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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103) The Fantastic Four (1994)

-I don’t want to pick on this too much.  It was never officially released, and it’s just a rushed mess.  But…there’s decent comedic value to it, i.e. the look of the Thing.

Original Rating: 4 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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102) Steel (1997)

-It’s Shaquille O’Neal in a superhero movie.  What else is there to say?  I was actually very kind to this movie when I first watched it, probably because I was expecting the worst movie ever made.  It boggles my mind that Steel got a live action movie before Wonder Woman or the Flash…ugh.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 4 out of 10

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101) Hulk (2003)

-If you look up the word ‘pretentious,’ you’ll find the movie poster for Ang Lee’s Hulk.  I just can’t believe they tried to make an artsy picture with the fricking Hulk!  What a terrible idea.  There are a few good moments, and the score is solid, but the insane run time for this film wipes a lot of the great moments away.  Oh, and let’s not forget the lame comic style panel editing technique.  Why don’t I have this film ranked lower?

Original Rating: 4 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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100) Spider-Man 3 (2007)

-This is probably where the list starts getting a little controversial.  I’m sure a lot of people would look at Spider-man 3 and say, ‘Yea, it was disappointing, but this low?  Come on!’  But it goes back to what I said before: the expectation factor.  After Spider-man 2, I was expecting something pretty special with this movie.  Instead, I got emo Peter Parker dancing around like a cartoon character.  And everything else was just bland and uninteresting.  I like Eddie Brock/Venom, but that’s it.  And here’s the thing:  The production budget on this movie was ridiculous…there’s no excuse here.

Original Rating: 4 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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99) Superman Returns (2006)

-Out of all the movies on this list, it’s the most disappointing.  That’s why it’s so low.  I was so jacked up for this film, but I left nearly in tears at how bad it was.  While we have two great Superman movies in existence, they came out before I was born.  I had been waiting for this film for years, and all I got was a worse version of the original.  I hate this movie with all my heart.  I’m still waiting to experience a great Superman movie in the theater.  I’m hoping 2013 will change that…but I’ve been burned before.

Original Rating: 4 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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98) Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl (2005)

-Taylor Dooley as Lavagirl was good, but that’s it.  This is just a mess of a film, and it looks cheap as hell.  It’s decent for kids I guess, but I’m being kind.  Taylor Lautner takes acting to a whole new low in this movie.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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97) Supergirl (1984)

-This movie felt like the studio wasn’t ready to make Superman IV yet, but they needed a quick stop gap: enter Supergirl.  While I appreciated Helen Slater’s effort as the lead, I couldn’t but help watch this and think to myself, ‘Why am I not watching a Superman movie instead?’

Original Rating: 4.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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96) Hellboy: Blood and Iron (2007, animated)

-Totally boring and totally uninteresting.  The Hellboy universe has great characters, but they are completely wasted here.  I remember nothing about this film.

Original Rating: 4.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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95) Ghost Rider (2007)

-I think there was a ten minute stretch where Nicolas Cage actually calmed down and was half way decent, but other than that, his performance was a complete train wreck, as was Eva Mendes.  Peter Fonda was pretty solid, but that’s about it.

Original Rating: 4 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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94) Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995)

-This is close to television level, but the one thing that saved it was the fighting.  The fighting is actually fairly entertaining, and there’s also a lot of action that spares us from the horrible acting for the majority of the film.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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93) Underdog (2007)

-This may have been a good movie if Jim Belushi wasn’t around and they got a different voice actor for Underdog (Jason Lee).  Peter Dinklage and Patrick Warburton as the villains are legitimately funny.  I’d love to see a buddy comedy with just those guys.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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92) The Invincible Iron Man (2007, animated)

-Much like the Hellboy animated movie Blood and Iron, there’s just nothing here.  Visually it looks pretty solid, and there were at least some decent fights, but nothing more.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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91) Elektra (2005)

-I give Jennifer Garner credit for giving it her all, but other than that, this is pretty poor.  What a waste of Terence Stamp.  The worst part about this movie is how everything is so poorly explained.  From Elektra coming back to life, to random tattoo people, it’s just stupid.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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90) The Rocketeer (1991)

-I could see people liking this, and there’s even some solid acting, but it’s fairly boring and ridiculously cliché.  And at the end of the day, I just don’t find a guy with a jet-pack all that interesting.  Well, not when it’s the basis for an entire movie.  Boba Fett is pretty awesome.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The same

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89) The Meteor Man (1993)

-Robert Townsend directs, writes, produces, and stars.  Clearly he was passionate about this, and it shows in his performance.  There are some funny moments, and you can never go wrong with James Earl Jones.  But at the end of the day, this was nothing more than a low budget Superman, and only slightly funnier.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: 5.5 out of 10

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88) Superman: Brainiac Attacks (2006, animated)

-Brainiac was awesome, and there are plenty of cool fights between him and Superman.  But this movie pissed me off with how much of a campy goofball they made Lex Luthor…lame.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 5.5 out of 10

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87) The Punisher (2004)

-This was way, way, way, way, way too serious for a Punisher movie.  Maybe this could have worked if they got a better actor, but Tom Jane just sucked the life out of the room.  Some solid elements, but ultimately it’s underwhelming.

Original Rating: 5.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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86) Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (2009, animated)

-The Batman/Superman relationship was there, but there were too many dumb elements.  Batman in space made me uneasy, and once again Lex Luthor was a goofball.  There’s also this really annoying super genius kid at the end that brings it down significantly.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 5.5 out of 10

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85) Jonah Hex (2010)

-This was a movie I was expecting to be in the bottom five.  While it’s certainly not good, I guess I was pleasantly surprised.  Josh Brolin carries the entire thing on his shoulders, and he succeeds for the most part.  Megan Fox…Wow, she’s a bad actress.  The good thing about this though is that it’s short.

Original Rating: 5.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 5.5 out of 10

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84) Hellboy: Sword of Storms (2006, animated)

-Significantly better than Blood and Iron, but still nothing special.  Hellboy is still a strong character, and the animation was gorgeous at times.  The story just isn’t there though.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: 5.5 out of 10

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83) Spider-Man (2002)

-This is probably a controversial one with how low it is, but looking back on it, I really don’t like this movie at all.  The acting is terrible. Kirsten Dunst stinks, and she and Tobey Maguire had zero chemistry.  The costume looks fake as hell, and I really hate the Macy Grey music video in the middle of the movie.  But the thing that really irked me about this movie was Green Goblin.  This villain is Mr. Freeze Batman & Robin level, I’m sorry.  There are some cool fight sequences, and I like Willem Dafoe when he’s out of costume, but that’s it.

Original Rating: 5.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 5 out of 10

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82) Thor: Tales of Asgard (2011, animated)

-Completely boring and uninteresting.  The last ten minutes are cool, and I like the dynamic between Thor and Loki, and Sif was also a pretty strong character, but there were too many slow parts for a movie this short.  Plus it’s Thor without his hammer…lame.

Original Rating: 5.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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81) Zoom (2006)

-This is pretty much just a rip off a much better movie (Sky High).  But there are some solid veteran performances by Tim Allen and Chevy Chase.  The real issue though are the child/teen actors…just terrible performances there.

Original Rating: 5.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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80) Superman III (1983)

-This was Christopher Reeve’s best performance simply because there is absolutely nothing else going for this movie.  He does a great job playing the evil Superman, especially when he has to fight himself.  But here’s the bottom-line: The plot for this movie is Superman fighting a computer…BULL SHIT.

Original Rating: 5.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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79) Superhero Movie (2008)

-90% of this film is terrible.  I have to admit though, there were about three or four moments where I laughed my ass off.  The five to ten minute sequence where it’s an X-Men parody at the X-Mansion is pretty damn funny.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 5.5 out of 10

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78) The Green Hornet (2011)

-The first half is terrible, but it got better.  This has no idea what genre it wants to be.  It leans mostly towards comedy, but it’s not very funny.  It had potential if someone else was in the lead role and not Seth Rogen.

Original Rating: 5.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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77) All-Star Superman (2011, animated)

-A great idea, but poorly executed.  There’s way too many stories and plot elements introduced that don’t get the time they deserve.  It needed to focus more on just Superman himself.  The last ten minutes are great, but everything that came before it is fairly weak.  And here’s yet another Superman movie where Lex Luthor is a goofball.

Original Rating: 5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 5.5 out of 10

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76) Mosaic (2007, animated)

-Anna Paquin does a good job voicing the main character.  Her dialogue is bad, but she sells it well.  The story is a little silly, but it had me somewhat intrigued.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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75) My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)

-This is a weird one.  With a few tweaks here and there, this could have been pretty solid.  The concept isn’t bad, and I like Luke Wilson, but the Uma Thurman casting and the depiction of her character just doesn’t work.  She’s way too unlikable, as is Rainn Wilson’s character who’s just a complete douche.  The one thing I’ll say for this movie though is that we get to see Uma Thurman throw a giant CG shark into Luke Wilson’s apartment…that was funny.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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74) The Condor (2007, animated)

-This was the random animated skateboard movie.  I actually liked the story quite a bit. There are a lot of solid characters, and the action was stellar, but what brought this movie down significantly was the horrible voice acting of Wilmer Valderrama as the main guy Tony Valdez.  If you don’t remember Wilmer, he was Fez on That 70’s Show, which is a much better performance to say the least.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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73) Captain America (1990)

-I know it looks cheap, the acting leaves a lot to be desired, but at the same time, I had some fun with this.  And the hero/villain relationship is fairly decent here between Captain America and Red Skull.  I agree this feels like a TV movie, but its heart was in the right place.  Leave this movie alone, it’s not that bad.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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72) Megamind (2010, animated)

-While the film offers a fleshed out performance from Will Ferrell, the idea here has boundless potential, making the villain the hero of the movie.  It touches on some good things, but ultimately it’s a silly kid’s movie, and way too long for its own good.

Original Rating: 6.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 6 out of 10

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71) The Batman vs. Dracula (2005, animated)

-As a Batman fan, I just can’t get on board with this one.  Batman fighting Dracula just doesn’t work for me.  I think there are some solid Joker moments, but the Penguin was treated like a complete buffoon.  It doesn’t do a disservice to Batman, but it’s pretty forgettable.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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70) Justice League: The New Frontier (2008, animated)

-It aims high, and it’s got a great ending, but this one is excruciatingly boring.  This is paced like a baseball game.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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69) Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman (2003, animated)

-This one isn’t bad.  I love Bane’s role, it’s a solid Batman mystery, and the voice acting is pretty good.  I don’t like Robin though, who was a little too chipper for my liking.  The music also sucks.  It sounds like Kenny G/elevator music…not the right mood for a Batman movie.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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68) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

-It’s far from the first two, but I give it credit over Superman III for the following reasons: First of all, Gene Hackman is back as Lex Luthor.  The scenes he has with Superman are worthy scenes that feel like they belong in the first two films.  And while the concept of Nuclear Man is incredibly stupid, I at least appreciated seeing an entertaining fight between him and Superman as opposed to Superman fighting a computer.  And it’s a guilty pleasure of mine, but Jon Cryer as Luthor’s ‘surfer dude’ nephew made me laugh.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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67) Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow (2008, animated)

-While I would have preferred another Avengers movie, this one was alright.  The action was good, and the voice acting was solid, even though I hated Pym (Giant Man’s son), who was pretty darn annoying.  Old Man Hulk was pretty cool though.

Original Rating: 6.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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66) Darkman, 65) Darkman III, 64) Darkman II (1990, 1996, 1995)

-Yup.  I’m putting all three back-to-back-to-back.  Why…because they are the same movie.  Darkman is isolated in his lab depressed, trying to find a cure.  He eventually fights generic Mafia guys by tricking them with his fake skin faces, but in the end, he remains Darkman.  All of these movies are incredibly mediocre.  I do like Arnold Vosloo’s performance of the character better than Liam Neeson in the original though.  Although, I think that’s more director Sam Raimi’s depiction and direction.  The first one was too goofy, and went across too many genres.  At least the sequels were consistent.

Darkman: Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same
Darkman III: Original Rating: 6.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same
Darkman II: Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: 6.5 out of 10

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63) The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

-I’m not going to sit here and say this is a great piece of film, but the shit this movie gets is way over blown.  It’s not that bad.  Granted I haven’t read the graphic novel, which I know people love to death, but just looking at it as a movie, it’s a lot of fun.  If Sean Connery wasn’t there, the movie probably would be a disaster, but he carries it pretty well.  The action is entertaining, and I don’t mind any of the performances.  It’s a really dumb and ridiculous movie, but at the end of the day, it’s okay.

Original Rating: 6.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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62) The Shadow (1994)

-This is one where I liked it a lot more when I first saw it, but after thinking about it later on, it’s not very good.  I do love Alec Baldwin’s performance though.  Much like Sean Connery in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, he completely carries it. 

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: 6.5 out of 10

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61) Punisher: Warzone (2008)

-You can’t walk out of this movie and not at least be entertained.  This is a hysterical film.  The action is cartoonish, and the villains are a laugh riot (especially Loony Bin Jim).  If you’re a die hard Punisher fan, I could see your frustration.  But they tried to go serious with him in 2004, and it just wasn’t there.  This isn’t great either, but at least it’s a fun time.  What really brings this down though is Ray Stevenson as the Punisher.  He’s the one guy who’s not on the same page as everyone else.  Everyone else is acting silly and campy, but he’s playing the role like it’s the 2004 version…that’s a problem.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: 6.5 out of 10

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60) Superman and the Mole Men (1951)

-I have a certain affection for this one because it is the first movie I saw for the Series.  It is what it is: A black and white bad special effects laden film.  George Reeves is a very good Clark Kent/Superman though.

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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59) Planet Hulk (2010, animated)

-Planet Boring for the first fifteen minutes…Planet Not Bad for the rest.  The thing that gets me about this one is how the Hulk can suddenly talk in complete sentences.  Also, the Avengers ship him away because he can’t control himself, yet Hulk seems like he has complete control over all his actions?

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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58) Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

-Whether it be live action or animated, the Hellboy universe is full of interesting characters, but they are always involved in lack luster stories.  While not to the extent of the animated adventures, Hellboy II once again suffers from the same fate.  I enjoy the acting.  I enjoy the characters.  But the story just moves slowly, and isn’t all that interesting.  I love the introduction of Johann Kraus, the dude made out of gas.  He does some pretty bad ass things.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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57) Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

-What makes this far superior to the horrible original is that it’s at least entertaining.  It still has many of the flaws from the first one such as Jessica Alba and bad jokes, but there’s at least some meat to the Silver Surfer character, and he was pretty cool to look at too.  Chris Evans carries himself well again, but ultimately the film is still brought down by lame sub-plots such as Sue and Reed’s wedding hoopla.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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56) Mystery Men (1999)

-This is a great idea, but pulled off better in a later movie on the countdown.  The cast really saves this film.  The script is fairly poor, but the acting elevates it significantly.  I chuckled here and there, but this movie is far from what its potential is.

Original Rating: 6.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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55) Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo (2006, animated)

-The camaraderie among the Teen Titans is the best aspect to the film.  It’s a lot of fun, and there is some legitimate character development going on with Robin.  The animation gets a little too goofy though, and it’s a little too underwhelming for me to say its good…its okay.

Original Rating: 6.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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54) Hancock (2008)

-I can’t imagine what this movie would be like without Will Smith.  The first half is pretty damn good.  Will Smith is funny, and even though Hancock is a complete asshole, he’s an engaging character.  I don’t love Jason Bateman here, and to be honest, the rest of the cast leaves a lot to be desired.  Hancock is also the one movie in existence where you can pin-point the exact second where the film goes bad.

Original Rating: 6.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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53) Batman Forever (1995)

-There are a lot of good things about Batman Forever.  Val Kilmer is a solid Batman.  They handle the Dick Grayson/Robin character very well.  And even though it’s not the Riddler I want to see, Jim Carrey is too damn talented for me to fold my arms about it.  He’s the only one who could have pulled off goofball Riddler.  I love the story involving the Riddler as well, and his hideout is bad ass.  But the seeds of Batman & Robin are present.  Two-Face is a complete disaster.

Original Rating: 6.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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52) The Punisher (1989)

-This is the best Punisher movie.  It blends the ridiculous action of Punisher: Warzone and the serious elements of the 2004 version pretty damn well.  I think this movie is a lot of fun, and the action is legitimately intense.  Unfortunately, like the other two Punisher entries, the guy playing the Punisher sucks.  Dolph Lundgren is just plain bad.  What is so difficult about casting this character?

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 7 out of 10

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51) The Mask (1994)

-If you really want to understand how talented Jim Carrey is, go watch the Mask, and then watch Son of the Mask.  The tone and style of the character are very similar, but the results are dramatically different.  Carrey does a great job as the reserved lovable loser Stanley Ipkiss and his alter-ego the Mask.  Carrey is a cartoon character come to life in this movie.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 7 out of 10

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50) Green Lantern: First Flight (2009, animated)

-They packed a lot into this movie, and that ultimately hurt the film.  But the fight between Green Lantern and Sinestro at the end is pretty bad ass.

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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49) Ultimate Avengers (2006, animated)

-A solid introduction to the world of the Avengers.  Solid action, solid voice acting, and a good character focus on Steve Rogers.  The beginning especially with Captain America in World War II is pretty stellar.

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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48) Daredevil (2003)

-The elements to a great superhero movie are present.  Unfortunately, Ben Affleck was just a total miscast.  He’s fine as Matt Murdock, but horrible in the costume as Daredevil.  He’s not the only one though.  Colin Farrell as Bullseye was also pretty lame, but the idea of the character is really strong.  I think there’s enough to like here though to call it a good movie.  The drama and visuals are definitely there, and Michael Clarke Duncan as Kingpin was awesome.  In the flashback scenes, I actually felt a slight Batman Begins feel, it really had that potential.  The heart was in the right place, but it just missed the mark in terms of casting.

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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47) Green Lantern: Emerald Knights (2011, animated)

-Basically, this is a better version of First Flight.  The tall tale story element works well.  Some of the stories were certainly better than others, but when they hit, they hit pretty hard.  I really enjoyed the story of Laira, which was truly heartbreaking.  What really missed in this one though was the character of Sinestro.  He sounded like he belonged in a Country Club and not a bad ass space cop.  

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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46) Superman/Batman: Apocalypse (2010, animated)

-It’s a little clunky at times, but the fights are awe-inspiring.  Plus, it’s always good when Batman one ups super-powered beings, and it happens all over the place in this one. 

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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45) Doctor Strange (2007, animated)

-This definitely got me intrigued with the character of Doctor Strange.  There are a lot of cool origin moments, and it’s a great character focus filled with some poignant subtlety.  The film moves fairly slow though, and the villain was kind of lame and painfully predictable.

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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44) Ultimate Avengers 2 (2006, animated)

-Basically, this is Ultimate Avengers, but a little bit better all around with a good dynamic between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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43) X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

-I’m sure many believe this should be a lot lower.  This is a decent movie.  I get its flaws, but it moves at a good pace, the action is thoroughly entertaining, and there’s still a good character conflict between Wolverine and Sabertooth.  It’s certainly the worst live action X-Men related movie, and I expected a lot more.  But just because it didn’t live up to my expectations, I’m not going to completely shit on it.

Original Rating: 6.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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42) Iron Man 2 (2010)

-The good stuff is really good.  The bad stuff is really bad.  It’s the exact opposite from Iron Man in that this one had great villains, but I really didn’t like the Tony Stark character at all.  And let’s not forget the infamous drunken brawl between Iron Man and War Machine…ewwww.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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41) Green Lantern (2011)

-With the exception of Superman Returns, this fails to meet its expectations the most.  It’s just an underwhelming effort.  All the acting pieces were there, but a lack luster script, crappy editing, and a minimal effort by director Martin Campbell make Green Lantern the epitome of mediocrity.  It’s not deserving of the venom it received from critics, but it’s not good either.  If they cut out Hector Hammond, it could have been a lot better.

Original Rating: 6 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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40) Batman: Year One (2011, animated)

-It’s definitely unlike any other Batman movie that came before it, and the animation really overpowers you.  I love everything going on with Gordon, and the voice acting is truly terrific.  Catwoman is a waste of a character though, and at times, it just doesn’t feel like a movie, but rather really cool individual moments.

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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39) Batman: Gotham Knight (2008, animated)

-Just like Green Lantern: Emerald Knights, this is another tall tale stories film.  This is a hard one to get into at first, but once you get past the horrible first story, it’s gloriously gritty with some awesome visuals of Batman.  This might be Kevin Conroy’s best turn as the character.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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38) Hellboy (2004)

-It’s the first Hellboy, and the one that blends a good story with the good characters.  While I love the performances, this does get a bit repetitive at times.  How many times do we need to see Hellboy fight a monster?  But regardless, this is truly a lot of fun.  Ron Perlman’s great.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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37) The Specials (2000)

-The best way to describe this is that it’s a better version of Mystery Men.  Jamie Kennedy is really funny, the action figure commercial is hysterical, and I love the dialogue.  I wish there was someone else in the Thomas Haden Church role though.  Check this out if you’ve never heard of it.  It’s really funny.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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36) Blade: Trinity (2004)

-It’s the worst of the trilogy, but still very good.  At the end of the day, it’s another Blade movie, and Blade kicks ass.  Ryan Reynolds is fricking hysterical in this film, I cannot stress that enough.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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35) Sky High (2005)

-Just like the Specials being a better Mystery Men, this is a much better Zoom from earlier in the list.  The best way to describe this movie is ‘clever.’  It’s got a lot of great little bits, and the actors all really put in a great effort.  I love the ‘Save the Citizen’ game, and it’s a movie that just puts a big smile on your face.  This is a perfect film to introduce kids to the world of superheroes.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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34) Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero (1998, animated)

-I’m grateful for this movie because it reminded us that Mr. Freeze is a great character despite what happened in Batman & Robin.  A couple of the chase scenes go on too long, but it’s just a very strong Mr. Freeze story with great voice acting by Michael Ansara.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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33) Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (2010, animated)

-Everything about this movie is mediocre, except for one thing: Owlman.  As I described in my original review for this, he’s a Batman without limitations.  That’s a scary villain.  I found Owlman fascinating, and not only that, James Woods does an incredible job with the voice.  The movie is worth it just for this character, and the conflict between him and Batman at the end is riveting.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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32) Iron Man (2008)

-I’m sure this is a controversial one.  Look, Robert Downey Jr. is great, and the first twenty minutes are pretty awesome, but other than that, this movie has nothing to offer.  I could care less about any of the other characters, and the third act is a complete joke.  It’s a good movie, but far from great, I’m sorry.

Original Rating: 7 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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31) TMNT (2007, animated)

-After Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, I pretty much moved on with my life with regards to the Turtles in movies, but this film brought me back.  The characterization of the Turtles might even be the best they’ve ever been here, especially with the legendary conflict between Leonardo and Raphael.  If only Shredder was the antagonist, this could have been something really great.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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30) Hulk Vs. (2009, animated)

-This is a pretty bad ass movie.  Split in two parts, Hulk fighting Thor was good, but when Hulk and Wolverine go at it, oh man.  It was brutal, bloody, vicious, and just a thunderous battle that could pretty much go on forever.  They also manage to fit in other great X-Men characters like Deadpool.  It’s one of the better Hulk related movies.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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29) Spider-Man 2 (2004)

-Here’s another controversial one.  Most people will have this in their top five superhero movies, but I have it here.  It’s certainly better than its predecessor, and by far the best Spider-man movie overall.  Alfred Molina is a great villain, and the story is more intriguing.  I think the jokes also work better in this one as well.  But it still has some acting issues.  Kirsten Dunst is just horrific.  Tobey Maguire and James Franco improve…but they are still lacking a lot of energy.  Spider-man 2 is a very good movie, but this is as high as it goes.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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28) The Incredible Hulk (2008)

-In the year of Iron Man and the Dark Knight, poor Hulk got lost in the shuffle.  It also had to deal with the stink of the Ang Lee atrocity.  Edward Norton put his heart and soul into this movie, and it shows.  It’s a shame he’s not going to be in the Avengers.  This is a perfect blend of character and action.  It’s also got a great score.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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27) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

-I’m aware of its silly and ridiculous flaws, but this is one of those personal bias movies.  I’m a die hard Ninja Turtles fan, so deal with it.  This movie will always put me in a good mood.  It’s pure Ninja Turtles, except for the fact that they change the names Bebop and Rocksteady to Toka and Razar.  This also has one of the greatest moments in the history of cinema: the Vanilla Ice Ninja Rap.

Original Rating: 8 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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26) X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

-Here’s a controversial one, but for different reasons.  I don’t understand the hatred for this movie.  It’s a very strong X-Men film.  What is so bad about this movie?  Yea, Angel sucks, and Juggernaut has a couple bad lines.  I guess it detracts from the source material a bit, but I’m sorry: as a movie and an ending to a trilogy, it works really well.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.  I like the movie a lot.

Original Rating: 7.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 8 out of 10

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25) Superman: Doomsday (2007, animated)

-It’s the Superman movie I pray to see someday in live action.  Superman goes toe to toe with his physical equal: Doomsday.  It’s a glorious fight.  They absolutely rip apart Metropolis.  The only problem with this film is that after the Doomsday fight, it just isn’t as good, but it’s still very solid.  I just wish once again that Lex Luthor was a stronger character.  Bottom-line with Superman: Doomsday: If you hate Superman Returns like me, you’ll love this movie.

Original Rating: 8 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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24) Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993, animated)

-I like this movie a lot, but it’s a tad overrated.  As far as Batman goes, it’s certainly not the best, but it’s up there.  The way the Joker gets into the story is pretty good, and with the exception of maybe Batman Begins, this is the most we’ll see of Bruce Wayne.  It interweaves a lot of good flashbacks, and the voice acting by Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill is just stellar, but what else is new?

Original Rating: 8 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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23) Kick-Ass (2010)

-I usually don’t like it when movies mix two genres, let alone about five.  But director Matthew Vaughn blends them so well, I’m okay with it.  This is a great movie all around.  It’s funny, bad ass, and incorporates great character development.  Nicolas Cage and Chloe Grace Moretz certainly steal the show as Big Daddy and Hit Girl respectively.  The brilliance of Kick-Ass is that it’s a great parody of the genre, but also works just as well as a normal superhero movie. 

Original Rating: 8 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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22) Blade II (2002)

-Blade is bad ass, but we also get introduced to a lot of other cool supporting characters such as Ron Perlman’s Reinhardt who’s a real dick bag.  They also introduce some really awesome weapons in this one.  I appreciate how bad ass the fighting and action is in the Blade movies, but they also offer legit character moments.  Blade is just a solid series all around, and Blade II represents the franchise very well.

Original Rating: 8 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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21) The Incredibles (2004)

-I originally had this film a lot higher, but after thinking about it for a while, I pushed it down significantly.  Don’t get me wrong: This is a great movie.  I think it runs way too long, but my main issue is that the Incredibles is merely just one clever moment after the other, and at the end of the day, the film just lacks as a whole.  It’s insanely clever, but when I really reflect on this movie, a bunch of clever moments can only get you so far.  I don’t think there’s a lot there after that.  Like I said…this is a great film, but I think people regard it way too highly.

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: 8 out of 10

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20) Watchmen (2009)

-This film never had a chance.  If the graphic novel never existed, this would have blown people’s minds.  The reason why it’s so high on the list is because I can point to multiple OMG moments.  The Dr. Manhattan back story sequence is incredible.  Rorschach in prison is pure bad ass.  The Comedian was always a compelling figure.  It’s not a perfect film, but it’s a damn good one.  I hate how Watchmen was tossed aside because of unreasonable expectations.

Original Rating: 8 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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19) Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010, animated)

-This is a gut wrenching take on Batman’s biggest failure, and how it comes back to haunt him in heartbreaking fashion.  The way the story plays out is perfect, but it’s the last scene with Batman, Joker, and the Red Hood that really showcases the best aspects of the character and his world.  There are a couple useless characters like Black Mask, but that’s not nearly enough to detract from its greatness.  This is a must see for Batman fans, and the last shot of the film really hits you hard.

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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18) Wonder Woman (2009, animated)

-This was probably the biggest surprise of this whole Superhero Movies on Steroids Series.  Wonder Woman is a truly epic movie.  The opening is insane.  There was a lot of ambition in this project, and for the most part, it reaches what it wants to do.  It was interesting to see Wonder Woman on her home world of Themyscira, but even more compelling to see her interact on Earth.  You don’t have to be a Wonder Woman or superhero fan to appreciate this: it’s just an awesome movie that delivers on everything you’d want a great movie to deliver on.

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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17) X-Men (2000)

-X-Men is an important film in superhero movie history as it revitalized a genre that was really hurting after Batman & Robin.  As expected, Wolverine stole the show.  If anything, this movie is awesome just because it introduced us to Hugh Jackman.  Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen were also stellar as Professor X and Magneto respectively.  Unfortunately characters like Cyclops, Storm, and Jean Grey kind of get pushed to the side, but at least the film remained consistent in making it a clear conflict between Professor X and Magneto with Wolverine wandering around in the middle.  This is a great introduction to the world of X-Men on film, and it also has one of the best introductions to a character of all time.

Original Rating: 8 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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16) Superman II (1980)

-This was a nearly perfect sequel.  The original introduced us to who Superman is and how powerful he can become.  The sequel pitied him up against equal, if not tougher competition.  That’s what a sequel should do: up the ante.  The battle between Superman and the three Kryptonians looked pretty good considering when this came out.  Also, Terence Stamp as General Zod is a real treat: ‘Kneel before Zod!’

Original Rating: 8 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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15) Unbreakable (2000)

-I love this superhero movie because you don’t even really know it’s a superhero movie until late in the film.  This is definitely one of Samuel L. Jackson’s better performances.  And what’s so great about the ending is that it doesn’t get full blown comic book until the last seconds.  Bruce Willis could have done a better job, and his kid is kind of crazy, but Unbreakable is a great movie with a magnificent ending.  I kind of want to see a sequel, but then again, I think that would defeat the purpose of this film.  Also, M. Night Shyamalan forgot how to direct, so there’s also that.

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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14) Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000. animated)

-There have been a lot of animated Batman movies, but for me, this is the best.  Even though I’m not in love with the concept of watching a Batman who isn’t Bruce Wayne, the fact that he still mentors Terry McGinnis and is still heavily involved with Batman makes it okay.  But forget about that.  This is all about the original Batman and his last confrontation with the Joker.  The flashback scene is truly one of the best scenes in superhero history.  When you look at all the stuff the Joker has done, whether it is in movies, comic books, TV, or whatever, this is by far the most evil thing he’s ever done to Batman.  Mark Hamill gives the best Joker laugh of his career.  If you haven’t seen this movie, make sure you get the Unrated Version, it’s very important.

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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13) Blade (1998)

-Blade is just a mesmerizing film.  Watching Blade fight is truly a spectacle to behold.  Not only does this film offer riveting action, Stephen Dorff plays a great villain.  Wesley Snipes isn’t the greatest actor in the history of acting, but for some reason, he fits this role like a glove.  The only drawback to Blade is that you’ll want to go out and buy swords afterwards and cut people up you think are vampires.  Well, don’t go do that, but you certainly should see Blade.

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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12) Batman (1966)

-If you haven’t seen this movie, I’m going to just rattle off a bunch of things that will spoil it for you.  Shark repellant bat spray.  ‘Wait a minute, it happened at Sea.  C…Sea for Catwoman!’  Crash landing your helicopter onto a foam rubber convention.  Robin’s little bike seat.  ‘Holy Heart Failure!’  The End?

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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11) Batman Returns (1992)

-I think Batman Returns will always hold the title for most polarizing and controversial superhero movie.  When you look at this as just a film, it’s pretty damn good.  But it does veer far from the source material.  I consider myself a die hard Batman fan, and I’m fine with this movie because I do think it’s that good.  And I don’t think it’s so far off from the material that it’s unrecognizable.  At the end of the day, it’s still Batman.  The acting is great.  The cinematography is great.  The sets are great.  The music is great.  It’s a great movie…but unfortunately, it’s regarded as a bad Batman movie. 

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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THE TOP 10 SUPERHERO MOVIES OF ALL TIME

10) Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

-When I look at Captain America, I really can’t find many weaknesses.  It’s just awesome all around.  Great hero…check.  Great villain…check.  Great supporting characters…check.  Great action…double check.  I could watch Cap throw that shield all day.  It’s even got a strong romantic angle, which these movies rarely have.  Chris Evans really shines in the first half of the movie.  While he’s still great later on, he just isn’t given as much to do once he becomes Captain America.  This one really blew my expectations out of the water.

Original Rating: 8 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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9) X2 (2003)

-The brilliance of X2 is that it has about 500 things going on at once, but all the storylines come together seamlessly at the end.  You get your Wolverine back story moments, but they don’t dominate the film.  Magneto’s escape from prison couldn’t have been better.  And the villain is fantastic, despite the fact that he’s just one ordinary man.  Brian Cox does a great job.  X2 throws you in a lot of directions, but at its core, the characters and story are at the forefront.

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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8 – Superman (1978)

-It’s the first real honest attempt at this genre, and it’s a damn good one.  The opening twenty minutes are ridiculous considering this came out in 1978.  And you know all the sets and effects are organic.  That’s really saying something.  The acting is off the charts.  Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, and of course Marlon Brando…that’s a stacked cast.  What’s so impressive is how it interweaves so many different environments.  We get the sci-fi nature of Krypton, the quiet farmland of Smallville, and finally, the city life of Metropolis.  It’s an epic film in every sense of the word.  Unfortunately, what hinders this from being top five, maybe even top three, is the disastrous and atrocious ending.  It’s probably the worst ending to any superhero movie.  Oh yea, and the music is amazing.  I can’t believe I almost forgot to add that in.

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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7) Thor (2011)

-Director Kenneth Branagh could not have been a more perfect choice for this.  Dimensional portals, bi-frosts, rainbow bridges…this is all stuff out of a Saturday morning cartoon, yet Branagh took this and injected great acting and story telling.  Chris Hemsworth owns the screen as Thor, and even holds his own in some moments with Anthony Hopkins.  Tom Hiddleston as Loki plays one of the better superhero villains we’ve ever had.  This has everything you could ever want in a great superhero movie: Superb action, serious character development, and a marvelous hero/villain conflict. 

Original Rating: 8.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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6) Batman (1989)

-Maybe its nostalgia, but this film will always hold a special place in my heart.  I know it’s hard to watch after the Christopher Nolan films, but I still think it’s legitimately a great movie.  Michael Keaton is an excellent Batman, and Jack Nicholson’s performance as the Joker still holds up as one of the best superhero performances of all time.  The look of the film is extraordinary, and the music is iconic.  It’s not the best Batman movie, but it’s still one of the best things the world of Batman has offered.  I’ll always love this film.

Original Rating: 9 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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5) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

-This is one where I admit it’s a 100% total personal bias.  But even looking past me being a die hard Ninja Turtles fan, it’s a damn good movie, alright!  The costumes in themselves are impressive.  And for a movie aimed at kids, it got fairly dark.  The violence is even brutal at times.  There’s some real character development going on, Splinter rules, and the Shredder was a big time villain.  While I admit putting it this high is a bias, even if I didn’t have a huge love for Ninja Turtles, it’s still a film worthy of being very high on the list.  It’s a classic…plain and simple.

Original Rating: 9 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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4) X-Men: First Class (2011)

-Similar to how the Tim Burton Batman movies lost a lot of their luster after Nolan came along, I got the same feeling when I saw X-Men: First Class.  As much as I love the original X-Men trilogy, this movie blows them out of the water.  Sure, there are continuity issues.  Is it a re-boot?  Is it a prequel?  I don’t know.  What makes this film so brilliant is that even though you know how it’s going to end, the movie almost makes you think Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr could still be allies at the end, which makes it that much more heartbreaking when their bond breaks.  James McAvoy (Charles Xavier) and Michael Fassbender (Erik Lehncher) are brilliant, and even out do Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen…that’s saying something.  But it also has a lot of great supporting characters like Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique and Nicholas Hoult’s Hank McCoy.  Kevin Bacon as the villain is also an added bonus.  I really want to see a sequel to this movie.

Original Rating: 9 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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3) Batman Begins (2005)

-Even though there were great superhero films before it, Batman Begins is the movie that opened the floodgates.  Christopher Nolan took this movie and told the world, ‘This is how you make a superhero movie.’  It was a film that nobody gave much thought to when it came out because the stink of Batman & Robin was still fresh in our minds even eight years later.  The first half with Bruce Wayne’s training was a remarkable sequence.  The film gave me two shocking twists that I rarely experience at the theater.  It’s also one of the best casts ever assembled for a film of this genre.  And unlike the previous Batman movies, this one was about Batman and not the villains.  The villains were still great, but Christian Bale put himself as the definitive Batman in this movie.

Original Rating: 9 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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2) Dick Tracy (1990)

-Not only is it the most underrated superhero movie of all time, but it’s one of the most underrated films of all time.  Its style is so distinct and can never be duplicated.  When you think of all the great movies and performances Al Pacino has given us, this is one of his best, and I will take that to the grave.  The character of Big Boy just fascinates me.  Warren Beatty’s acting and direction is near perfection.  But the real star of this film is the set design.  There have been so many movies that try and duplicate a comic book, but fail miserably.  This one succeeds.  And what’s so incredible about the sets is that we know they are real because this came out in 1990.  Avatar wishes it could look like Dick Tracy.  I’ve also never experienced a film that has such incredible montages.  I love this movie: it’s in my top 15 of all time.  If for some reason you haven’t seen Dick Tray, I beg you, please do.

Original Rating: 9 out of 10  Revised Rating: 9.5 out of 10

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1) The Dark Knight (2008)

-Before I started this whole Superhero Movies on Steroids Series, the one thing that almost kept me from doing it altogether was that there would be no mystery or suspense as to what the #1 film would be.  I have the Dark Knight rated #5 in my all time best movies list, but if someone wanted to argue it’s the greatest movie ever made, I really don’t have an issue with it.  This film is still talked about like it came out a month ago.  And right after the Dark Knight ended, speculation on the next film began immediately, and it hasn’t slowed down once even three years later.  The Dark Knight is so good, that to make the Category Winners more interesting, I’m just going to have to incorporate a non-Dark Knight winner for all the positive categories, because this movie is that far away from everything else.  The Dark Knight is the pinnacle of this genre…that’s all I have to say.

Original Rating: 9.5 out of 10  Revised Rating: The Same

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With the Official Rankings locked in, it’s now time for the Overall Category Winners, with some new ones added in as well…

The Overall Category Winners

*SPOILERS THROUGHOUT

Best Performance in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: Heath Ledger as the Joker (The Dark Knight, 2008)

The Non-Dark Knight Winner: Al Pacino as Big Boy Caprice (Dick Tracy, 1990)

Honorable Mentions: Marlon Brando as Jor-el (Superman, 1978)

Jack Nicholson as the Joker (Batman, 1989)

Liam Neeson as Ra’s Al Ghul (Batman Begins, 2005)

Worst Performance in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: Halle Berry as Patience Phillips/Catwoman (Catwoman, 2004)

Honorable Mentions: Taylor Lautner as Sharkboy (Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, 2005)

Jessica Alba as Sue Storm (Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, 2007)

Megan Fox as Lilah (Jonah Hex, 2010)

Best Line in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: “You see, madness as you know is like gravity…all it takes is a little push.  Hahahaha.” –the Joker (The Dark Knight, 2008)

The Non Dark Knight Winner: “You get behind me, we all profit.  You challenge me, we all go down.  There was one Napoleon!  One Washington!  One me!” –Big Boy Caprice (Dick Tracy, 1990)

Honorable Mentions: “Death comes for us all Oroko Saki.  But something much worse comes for you.  For when you die, it will be…without honor.” –Master Splinter right before Shredder falls to his death (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 1990)

“I’ll be standing where I belong: Between you and the people of Gotham.” –Bruce Wayne to Ra’s Al Ghul (Batman Begins, 2005)

“Charles Xavier did more for mutants than you’ll ever know.  My single greatest regret is that he had to die for our dream to live.” –Magneto (X-Men: The Last Stand, 2006)

Worst Line in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: “Do you know what happens to a toad when it’s struck by lightning?  The same thing that happens to everything else.” –Storm to Toad (X-Men, 2000)

Honorable Mentions: “It’s the car, right?  Chicks dig the car.” –Batman (Batman Forever, 1995)

“Never leave the cave without it.” –Batman referring to his Bat Credit Card (Batman & Robin, 1997)

“You sold me out…making a perfect ass of yourself: A perfect ass.” –Sand Saref (played by Eva Mendes) as she makes a copy of her ass and stares at it (The Spirit, 2008)

Best Fight in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: Batman Vs the Joker (The Dark Knight, 2008)

The Non Dark Knight Winner: Raphael Vs Leonardo (TMNT, 2007)

Honorable Mentions: Doomsday Vs Superman (Superman: Doomsday, 2007, animated)

The Incredible Hulk Vs the Abomination (The Incredible Hulk, 2008)

Captain America Vs Red Skull (Captain America: The First Avenger, 2011)

The Biggest WTF Moment in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: Lacy Warfield is flown into space and is completely fine (Superman IV, 1987)

Honorable Mentions: Batman makes a house call to Dr. Chase Meridian to see if she likes him or Bruce Wayne (Batman Forever, 1995)

Robin drives through a wall on his bike and makes a Robin symbol imprint (Batman & Robin, 1997)

A good guy (Lee Majors) becomes a villain just for the hell of it, and also because he’s bored (Lightspeed, 2006)

Best Scene in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: The final exchange of dialogue between Batman and the Joker as he hangs upside down (The Dark Knight, 2008)

The Non Dark Knight Winner: The opening Krypton sequence (Superman, 1978)

Honorable Mentions: The montage in which Big Boy and his gang run the town as the song ‘Back in Business’ plays (Dick Tracy, 1990)

Wolverine’s introduction in a cage fight, and later in the same bar when he first unleashes his claws (X-Men, 2000)

The flashback of Batman and Joker’s final confrontation (Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, 2000)

Worst Scene in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: Superman circles the Earth and turns back time (Superman, 1978)

Honorable Mentions: Steel (Shaq) has to throw a grenade through a short window, ala a free throw shot. (Steel, 1997)

Peter Parker dances at a Jazz Club under the symbiote influence (Spider-man 3, 2007)

Iron Man has a drunken brawl with War Machine as the DJ spins music (Iron Man 2, 2010)

Funniest Moment in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: The Shark Repellent Bat Spray (Batman, 1966)

Honorable Mentions: “Bob…gun.”  Bob hands Joker gun.  Joker shoots Bob (Batman, 1989)

The Vanilla Ice Turtle Rap and dance sequence (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze, 1991)

Barry Bonds at Xavier’s School for the Gifted as he chugs a jar of steroids and screams, and then randomly shoots an optic blast (Superhero Movie, 2008)

Best Bad Ass Moment in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: The Joker’s magic trick (The Dark Knight, 2008)

The Non Dark Knight Winner: Dick Tracy punches a bunch of guys in front of a brick wall and they all go down at once (Dick Tracy, 1990)

Honorable Mentions: The Bat Plane (Batman, 1989)

Super Shredder (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze, 1991)

Magneto moves the Golden Gate Bridge(X-Men: The Last Stand, 2006)

Best Villain in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: The Joker (The Dark Knight, 2008)

The Non Dark Knight Winner: Big Boy Caprice (Dick Tracy, 1990)

Honorable Mentions: Ra’s Al Ghul (Batman Begins, 2005)

Magneto (X-Men: The Last Stand, 2006)

Two-Face (The Dark Knight, 2008)

Who Carried their Movie the Most:

Winner: Jim Carrey (The Mask, 1994)

Honorable Mentions: Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent/Superman (Superman III, 1983)

Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man, 2008)

Will Smith (Hancock, 2008)

Funniest Superhero Movie:

Winner: Batman (1966)

Honorable Mentions: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

The Specials (2000)

Sky High (2005)

Best Music in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: Superman (1978) (John Williams)

Honorable Mentions: Batman (1989)/Batman Returns (1992) (Danny Elfman)

The Dark Knight (2008) (Hans Zimmer/James Newton Howard)

X-Men: First Class (2011) (Henry Jackman)

Best Direction in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight, 2008)

The Non Dark Knight Winner: Warren Beatty (Dick Tracy, 1990)

Honorable Mentions: Richard Donner (Superman, 1978)

Christopher Nolan (Batman Begins, 2005)

Kenneth Branagh (Thor, 2011)

Best Ending in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: Batman rides off a fugitive as Gordon monologues (The Dark Knight, 2008)

The Non Dark Knight Winner: Batman and Gordon meet on the rooftop as Gordon shows Batman the Joker card (Batman Begins, 2005)

Honorable Mentions: Elijah Price reveals himself as the man behind numerous disasters in an effort to find his opposite, David Dunn (Unbreakbale, 2000)

Erik Lehnsherr sits alone at a chess board with a slight hint that his powers may still remain (X-Men: The Last Stand, 2006)

Erik Lehnsherr becomes Magneto and Charles Xavier sets up his school for the gifted (X-Men: First Class, 2011)

Best Character in a Superhero Movie:

Winner: The Joker (The Dark Knight, 2008)

The Non Dark Knight Winner: Big Boy Caprice (Dick Tracy, 1990)

Honorable Mentions: Master Splinter (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 1990)

Bruce Wayne/Batman (Batman Begins, 2005)

Dr. Manhattan (Watchmen, 2009)

Who Singlehandedly Screws Over their Movie the Most:

Winner: Ben Affleck as Matt Murdock/Daredevil (Daredevil, 2003)

Honorable Mentions: Tommy Lee Jones as Harvey Dent/Two-Face (Batman Forever, 1995)

Billy Zane as Kit Walker/the Phantom (The Phantom, 1996)

Jessica Alba as Sue Storm (Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, 2007)

Most Overrated Superhero Movie:

Winner: Iron Man (2008)

Honorable Mentions: Spider-man (2002)

Spider-man 2 (2004)

The Incredibles (2004)

Most Underrated Superhero Movie:

Winner: Dick Tracy (1990)

Honorable Mentions: Unbreakable (2000)

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Watchmen (2009)

Actor Who Won Best Performance Most Times:

Winner: Kevin Conroy (voice): Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000), Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman (2003), Batman: Gotham Knight (2008), Batman/Superman: Public Enemies (2009)

Actor Who Won Worst Performance Most Times:

Winner: Halle Berry: X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), Catwoman (2004)         

That’s everything.  Keep checking back to the list whenever a new superhero movie comes out and the rankings will be adjusted.  I have nothing more to say on Superhero Movies…The End.

I never dreamed a Batman video game could be this good.  If you are a die hard Batman fan, this game was made for you.  Aside from training around the world for a decade and being a billionaire, this is the closest you’ll ever get to becoming Batman.  Despite its terrible and anti-climactic ending, 2009’s Batman: Arkham Asylum was the best non-multiplayer game to come out in years.  This game takes everything that was great about Arkham Asylum and makes it not just a little better, but significantly better.

The game play is flawless.  Moving around and fighting is smooth as can be.  And even though you fight a group of thugs 900 times in this game, it never gets old.  The countering system they introduced in Arkam Asylum was very good, but I can’t even put into words how unbelievable it is in Arkham City.  It’s so satisfying to elbow two guys behind you, grab their heads, and then slam them to the ground.

The parts in which you truly get to be Batman is when you’re sneaking around and taking out enemies without other thugs seeing you.  Silent takedowns were all present in the first game, but here, it just feels fresh again.

And what Batman video game would be complete without gadgets.  What I love about Arkham City is you basically start with all the gadgets you ended with from Arkham Asylum, and you just get to add more stuff.  The introduction of the smoke pellet is pretty awesome.  The two gadgets that are stand outs for me though are controlling the remote control batarang and the line launcher, which was in the original game, but in this, after you launch a line, you can launch another one while zip lining.  Batman does an awesome little flip maneuver to transition into this.  It’s so bad ass.

One of the drawbacks to Arkham Asylum is that you’re relegated to only Arkham Asylum.  The environments got kind of repetitive.  Here, it’s basically Gotham City…a vast improvement.  There’s nothing better than gliding around the city.

As far as the story goes, I liked the story to Arkham Asylum, but I wasn’t blown away.  In this one…I’m blown away.  Aside from Zelda games, I’m not one who gets into the story for a video game.  I like simple games and don’t need ten minute cut scenes.  I’ll watch a movie if I want that.  But in this, I was really invested in the plot.  It’s a fantastic Batman story, and the voice acting (especially Conroy and Hamill) is through the roof.  They cram so many big time Batman villains into this, yet none of them feel forced.  They all serve a great purpose to the story.  And when you get into a boss fight with a villain, the game delivers in spades.  Each boss gets his own unique battle, and its just so much damn fun!  There were a couple major Batman villains I felt got short changed though, and once again the Riddler is relegated to bonus challenges.  I’d like to see him in the main game, but oh well.

Speaking of the Riddler, this game is packed to the brim with bonus stuff.  There are side missions, challenge maps, Riddler challenges, and a Catwoman mode.  I’ve barely scratched the surface on the bonus material, but I definitely plan on conquering them at some point, and trust me, I am not one to do that in a video game.  Once I beat the game, I’m done.  But Arkham City…I’ll be back time and time again.

The only other thing I want to touch on is the ending, but I won’t give anything away.  When I played Arkham Asylum, I was devastated by how lame the final boss battle was.  It nearly ruined a great game.  In this game, I have mixed feelings.  Basically, there are two things that happen at the end.  One of them was AWESOME, and something I totally didn’t see coming.  The other is tough to talk about, because while I think it was a good story ending, it’s not a good video game ending.  But all in all, the ending satisfied me, unlike the crap they pulled in Arkham Asylum.

If you’re a big video game fan, you should play this game.  But if you’re a Batman fan…you have to play this game.

Rating: 9.5 out of 10 (OMG, OMG)

Plot: Young billionaire Bruce Wayne (Ben McKenzie) returns to Gotham City after several years abroad.  Also arriving in Gotham City is Jim Gordon (Bryan Cranston), one of the last ethical cops in Gotham.  Both men fight corruption within the police force, Gordon as a cop, and Bruce as a fugitive in his first year as the legendary Batman.

It’s definitely got a style of it’s own unlike any previous animated Batman movie.  The very first shot of Gotham City is pretty amazing.  The animation all around is incredible.  While the film is entrancing at times with its short scenes and character voice-overs, the plot suffers, coming off as clunky and hard to follow.  So when Bruce Wayne dons the mantel of the Bat, he kind of goes after the mob, and then kind of goes after police corruption, and he kind of meets with idealistic District Attorney Harvey Dent.  It just tosses you in different directions, not really having a cohesive narrative.  I like this movie a lot for its great individual moments, but as a whole, it’s not strong.  The voice acting is pretty damn good though.  Ben McKenzie is perfect.  He sounds like a young Kevin Conroy.  I know this is Batman’s early days, but it was weird to see him struggle against random thugs and punks.  And as I mentioned before, I like the voice narrations, but it sounded like everyone was doing monologues in a play and not a movie.  Also, Selina Kyle/Catwoman was completely unnecessary.  She serves no purpose.  I do love the clear influence from Batman Begins, especially when Batman escapes from the Cops and the bats show up.  Even the music in both films is similar.  Although I completely understand that the actual comic book this movie is based on had an influence on Batman Begins, so there you go.  At the end of the day though, this is Jim Gordon’s movie.  He’s the main character.  He’s the type of protagonist you root extra hard for.  Although I’m not really a fan of the Sarah Essen relationship as I don’t think it fits Gordon’s character, but I don’t want to give too much away.  I like a lot of this movie.  There are plenty of bad ass and powerful moments, but at times it just doesn’t feel like a movie.  There’s no glue holding a plot together, which hinders it from being great.

Rating: 7 out of 10 (Good)

Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout):

Best Performance: Bryan Cranston as Jim Gordon
-Like I said, this is Gordon’s show.  He brings the perfect demeanor to this character: a man who’s fighting a war of corruption all by himself…until Batman shows up.

Worst Performance: Eliza Dushku as Selina Kyle/Catwoman
-It’s more so that the character just shouldn’t have been there, but she is annoying and mostly played for laughs, which isn’t really how I picture Catwoman.

Best Line: “Ladies…Gentlemen.  You’ve eaten well.  You’ve eaten Gotham’s wealth.  It’s sprit.  But your feast is nearly over.  From this moment on…None of you are safe.”  -Batman to Falcone’s family and friends
-Batman doesn’t really talk much, let alone give monologues, but this was AWESOME.

Worst Line: “Amateur…fucking amateur.” –Batman
-First of all, Batman saying ‘fuck’ just doesn’t work.  But it’s weird because I don’t even know if this actually happens.  He kind of mumbles it, but I’m pretty sure he says ‘fuck.’

Best Fight:
-There wasn’t much, and even know it wasn’t really a fight, Gordon taking Flass out to the woods proves Gordon is a huge bad ass.  Gordon even offers him a bat, yet he still kicks his ass!

WTF Moment:
-Batman nearly kills himself saving a cat?  I’m not going to say any more, because I don’t want to upset cat lovers.

Best Scene:
-Batman storming Falcone’s mansion and then scaring the shit out of everyone was epic.

Worst Scene:
-When Gordon and his wife interview Wayne as a possible Batman suspect, I get Wayne has to play up the idiot playboy thing, but did we really need the Basic Instinct bathrobe moment?

Funniest Moment:
-This movie wasn’t very funny, although a corrupt Police Commissioner having a toy collection in his office is kind of funny.

Bad Ass Moment:
-I love Batman’s escape from the cops.  It’s just one long endurance test.  And even though he’s Batman, the movie does a good job of making you think, ‘How is he going to get out of this one?’  He also hid under the stairs where you could only see his white eyes…that was cool.

Plot: Set in World War II, Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is desperate to enlist in the military, but he is deemed to small and unfit for service.  Rogers is chosen to be the first subject for the ‘super soldier serum,’ a drug that will increase his strength and agility to super levels.  He becomes the hero Captain America as he tries to stop Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving), a crazed Nazi who harnesses the supernatural power of the Cosmic Cube.

This was the only superhero movie I was unable to watch right before writing the review, so I may not be as detailed as I normally am.  But it’s easy to remember this movie, because it kicked so much ass!  I left Captain America: The First Avenger with a giant smile on my face.  Not only does director Joe Johnston deliver top of the line action, but there’s a plethora of great characters.  First and foremost, Chris Evans is outstanding.  He plays maybe the most likable superhero ever to appear on screen.  He really sells you on Steve Rogers, especially in the first act when he’s small and scrawny.  He has the heart and determination of another great movie icon, Rocky Balboa.  When he actually becomes Captain America, he’s still great, but the movie just doesn’t require as much acting as the first part.  Haley Atwell plays Peggy Carter, and she’s certainly in the upper echelon of female leads for any superhero movie.  Her charisma is all over the place, and she and Evans have wonderful chemistry.  Tommy Lee Jones couldn’t have been more perfect for Col. Chester Phillips.  It seems like all his lines were gems.  Stanley Tucci plays the perfect mentor for Steve Rogers at the beginning.  It’s just a great cast all around, as well as a stellar script.  Then there’s Hugo Weaving.  Hugo Weaving as a villain is money in the bank.  No one else can play Red Skull now…perfect.  My favorite element to any superhero movie is the hero/villain relationship, and even though Captain America and Red Skull have two scenes together, they make them count with great dialogue.  They also have a lot of fun with the time period.  I loved seeing Captain America go to USO shows as a propaganda tool.  It was a really fun touch.  What also impressed me was the costume.  This could have easily been a humiliating disaster, but not only do you accept the costume, it actually looks pretty bad ass.  The score is awesome!  It’s powerful and overbearing, which is exactly what Captain America should have.  Oh yea, and the shield rules.  Every time he threw that thing, it was just glorious to watch.  Every action scene delivers, and there’s a lot of it.  And what I love about the action is that it gets better and more intense as the movie goes along.  The end battle is pretty ridiculous.  The film drags a little bit in the middle, and like I said, I just wasn’t that into Steve Roger’s character once he actually becomes Captain America.  The end is very powerful though, especially right before Captain America gets frozen, which is not a spoiler, because this is established in the first scene of the movie.  Captain America is easily the second best Marvel/Avengers tie-in movie behind Thor.

Rating: 8 out of 10 (Great)

Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout):

Best Performance: Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Captain America
-He’s kind of on cruise control in the second half, but he sells the entire movie in the first.  You are totally 100% on board with Steve Rogers.

Worst Performance: Sebastian Stan as ‘Bucky’ Barnes
-He was alright, but it’s an important role, and I just feel like someone better was out there.

Best Line: “Why someone weak?  Because a weak man knows the value of strength, the value of power.” –Dr. Erskine
-I love this line because it sums up both Rogers and Erskine in one sentence.  Erskine’s dialogue in general was damn good.

Worst Line: “You don’t have one of those, do you?” –Bucky asking Captain America after Johann rips off his mask to reveal his Red face.
-This is a big moment…Red Skull finally reveals himself, and I just don’t think we needed a comedic moment there.

Best Fight:
-The fight between Captain America and Red Skull at the end is amazing.  This is an intense brawl.  There’s also a great back and forth between the two characters…truly riveting.  The fight does end on an odd note though…Where the hell did Red Skull go?!  Asgard?

WTF Moment:
-It was hard to come up with one without just seeing the movie, although I have to say, the Cosmic Cube confuses me.  It just seems like it put a bunch of laser beams into some guns, and that was it.  I have to think there’s more to it.

Best Scene:
-I’m going with a very subtle one, but I love the conversation betweenRogersand Erskine the night before Rogers takes the serum.  This scene really shapes whoRogersbecomes, and it’s a scene that really makes you like Erskine, which sucks that much more when he dies.

Worst Scene:
-The first scene, because I would have preferred they didn’t show Captain America frozen.  I know its common knowledge, but I just don’t think showing it in the first scene was necessary.

Funniest Moment:
-This one’s easy.  Captain America, Peggy Carter, and Phillips are in a car chasing down Red Skull’s plane.  As Captain America is about to jump on board, he gives Peggy a kiss.  Then he looks over at Phillips who simply goes, ‘I ain’t kissing you.’  Perfect delivery by Tommy Lee Jones.

Bad Ass Moment:
-I can’t remember if it was by the shield, or if Captain America just throws him, but regardless, when he sends a HYDRA underling into a plane engine…whoa.

Plot: A race of beings known as the Guardians harnessed the green energy of will power millions of years ago. The power is given to hundreds of rings that choose different warriors throughout the universe in order to protect it. They are known as the Green Lantern Corp. When Parallax (an old enemy of the Guardians) returns and destroys the Green Lantern’s greatest warrior, Abin Sur (Temuera Morrison), his ring is given to the Corps’ first human, a reckless test pilot named Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds).

Green Lantern is one of the most disappointing superhero movies ever made.  The concept and story of Green Lantern is so bad ass, but what we get instead is an underwhelming ‘going through the motions’ story that just seems to have a lack of energy.  Now Green Lantern isn’t terrible.  It’s okay.  There’s a lot to like here.  The acting is pretty damn good all around.  Ryan Reynolds puts his heart and soul into this movie.  Reynolds brings his usual Reynolds charm to Hal Jordan, but when he has to be a serious superhero, he delivers.  I also like Blake Lively as Carol Ferris, whose character is so underwritten, yet she’s able to elevate the material significantly.  She and Reynolds have great chemistry.  I like their quiet moments when they are just at a bar talking.  The romantic angle usually fails in superhero movies, but here, it’s actually one of the highlights.  One of the best moments in the film that I won’t spoil is when Hal as Green Lantern flies outside Carol’s office and they call out one of the suspensions of disbeliefs we always accept in superhero movies.  I also enjoyed the other Lanterns, such as Mark Strong as Sinestro, and the voice acting of Geoffrey Rush (Tomar-Re) and Michael Clarke Duncan (Kilowog).  Tomar-Re was especially great, and I love when he explains the way the ring works.  But the film needed more of this!  The Green Lantern training and Hal’s interactions with the other Lanterns is clearly the most intriguing element to the film, yet this lasts all of maybe ten minutes.  That’s bull shit.  The one performance I didn’t like was Peter Sarsgaard as Hector Hammond.  I get he’s supposed to be weird and creepy, but it was over done to the point of camp.  They went too far.  And he’s completely underdeveloped as a villain.  This leads to the editing, which is just terrible.  It’s clunky and awkward.  The worst is when Hal is about to say the Green Lantern oath at the same time Hector is getting infected by the alien body.  They keep transitioning back and forth between these two important scenes, and ultimately, the emotion of each moment is lost because of it.  The villains in general just sucked.  Parallax (the embodiment of fear) is nothing more than a puff of smoke.  Come on!  A floating cloud?!  That’s your big villain!  Parallax is born because one of the blue Guardian guys is infused with the yellow light of fear.  Parallax should have looked more like the Guardian, in other words, more like a living being rather than a cloud of smoke.  This just doesn’t work as a central antagonist.  And he didn’t even look cool.  The special effects in general are poor.  The space scenes especially looked horrible.  In the opening moments, they flash a still photograph of Abin Sur in space…Wow.  And Oa (the planet home of the Green Lantern Corp) is so uninspired.  It looks like a random mess.  And it’s not helped by the fact that this came out in the wake of Thor, in which Asgard looked absolutely gorgeous.  The best special effects in the movie are the Green Lantern constructs Hal makes with his ring…those are awesome.  I also liked the look of Hal’s Green Lantern costume, especially with the green energy flowing inside his chest symbol.  That was pretty nice.  But honestly, the absolute worst part about this film is the score.  It hurts the movie significantly.  It sounds like it belongs in some C-level action flick they release in February.  I’m surprised, because James Newton Howard did the score.  I don’t know what the hell happened here, but it’s atrocious.  At the end of the day, I blame the director (Martin Campbell).  If the actors are giving good performances and elevating the material written on the page, then why does the movie feel so lack luster?  That’s on the director.  Like I said, this isn’t bad, and I would give Green Lantern another chance in a sequel, but definitely with a different director.  I was really pumped for this movie when it came out, but when the credits rolled on, the first word that came to mind was ‘meh.’

Rating: 6 out of 10 (‘meh’)

Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout):

Best Performance: Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan/Green Lantern
-He practically carries the whole movie.  He’s funny, serious, and commands the screen.  If he wasn’t in this, I think this movie could have been a lot worse.

Worst Performance: Peter Sarsgaard as Hector Hammond
-I get the character is supposed to be odd, but it was just too strange.  There are these little moments where he slightly dips his tongue into a drink, and it just feels like they are over doing it with the weird factor.  He’s got a few good moments, but this just didn’t work for me.

Best Line: “Have you concluded admiring yourself?” –Tomar-Re after Hal struts in his new suit
-Hal strutting around in his Green Lantern suit was bad, but they totally made up for it with this line.  It’s delivered perfectly by Geoffrey Rush.  I wish we could have seen more of this character.

Worst Line: “You’re a superhero.” –Tom to Hal after he reveals the suit
-I just hate self-referential lines like this.  Does he really have to refer to him as an actual superhero in a superhero movie?

Best Fight:
-When Green Lantern fights Parallax on the streets ofCoastCity, it’s pretty good.  There’s just a lot of cool constructs.  When they get into space though, it’s really lame.  When Green Lantern flies around the asteroids, it’s just cringe-worthy.  There was one cool shot when he levitates in front of the sun though.

WTF Moment:
-Hal goes off to fight Parallax by himself, and no one goes to help him!  What a bunch of dicks!  Especially the all righteous Sinestro, who just days earlier gave Hal shit about being afraid.  But he’s just like, ‘Yea, good luck dude.’  What an ass bag.

Best Scene:
-When Hal reveals himself as Green Lantern on Earth.  I really liked how he saves the helicopter.  The race track construct looked pretty slick, and the determination and concentration on Reynold’s face was great to see.

Worst Scene:
-I don’t know what the hell they were thinking here, but the flashback scene of Hal’s dad dying was embarrassing.  Its horrible acting all around, but the worst is when Hal’s dad gives him thumbs up right as his plane blows up.  A thumbs up…ugh.

Funniest Moment:
-It’s this:

Bob: Watch your back.
Hal: That’s impossible, Bob.

Haha.  That’s only a line Ryan Reynolds could deliver with such perfection.

Bad Ass Moment:
-Green Lantern flicks a truck into Parallax and then creates a gatling gun to blow it up…awesome.

Plot: An ancient enemy of the Guardians threatens the Green Lantern Corp.  As they prepare for battle, Hal Jordan (Nathan Fillion) tells stories of past and current Green Lanterns to his new apprentice (Elisabeth Moss) in order to inspire her.

The first thing that comes to mind when watching this movie is there’s a lot of green.  I enjoyed this film, however, if you aren’t a Green Lantern fan, or at least not somewhat familiar with the mythology, you will be totally lost.  Even I consider myself a knowledgeable Green Lantern fan, but I still thought things were explained a little half assed.  I wish the Guardians themselves, the creators of this green power, were explained better.  How the hell do they randomly have this power?  It’s never really delved into.  In the vain of Batman: Gotham Knight, we are told several tales of past and present Green Lanterns.  This works because the stories all have great variety.  We get a history lesson of the first Green Lantern, we get to see Kilowog as a rookie, there’s family drama, and plenty more.  Some stories are certainly better than others.  My favorite is probably the tale of Laira, the best Green Lantern, second only to Sinestro.  She returns to her home world after becoming a Green Lantern and is forced to battle her family who’s oppressed the planet.  It’s a very powerful back story.  The images themselves are pretty stellar as well.  In the first story, the original Green Lanterns fly around this huge ship trying to penetrate its defenses with the rings.  The sound effects and look is top notch.  One of the best Green Lantern constructs though has to be when Deegan, Kilowog’s drill instructor, creates this huge drill and drives it into a battle tank.  Now that was awesome.  I was disappointed with the Sinestro/Abin Sur story though towards the end.  They are supposed to be two of the biggest characters in the Green Lantern universe, and if you know anything about Green Lantern, it’s that Sinestro eventually turns bad.  That’s pretty much all this story was…Sinestro will be a bad guy at some point.  Yawn.  The voice acting is very strong all around.  I liked Kilowog, even though his voice wasn’t nearly as deep as it should be.  That character should just always have a deep voice, come on!  The Guardians weren’t bad.  For once, they didn’t seem like total dicks.  Avra (the first Green Lantern), Deegan, and Bolphunga (a powerful, but arrogant warrior) were also highlights.  Sinestro’s voice was disappointing though.  His character in general didn’t do it for me at all.  If you’re a Green Lantern fan, this is for you.  If you aren’t, I still think you’ll be entertained.

Rating: 7 out of 10 (Good) 

Category Rankings (Spoilers Throughout):

Best Performance: Nathan Fillion as Hal Jordan/Green Lantern
-Even though he doesn’t get his own back story, this voice just sounded right from start to finish: Inspiring, yet also kind towards his protégé.

Worst Performance: Jason Isaacs as Sinestro
-I like Jason Isaacs a lot, but his voice just didn’t work here for some reason.  Sinestro sounded like he was the member of a Country Club.

Best Line: “I came here hoping that Ree’yu and Rubyn were responsible for Jayd’s atrocities, hoping you were still the man who once tucked his daughter in at night.  But you are no longer that man.  And I am a Green Lantern.” –Laira to her father
-It was the climax to my favorite of the Green Lantern tales, and a great character moment for Laira.

Worst Line: “Things are starting to get…hot out there.” –Sinestro looking out at the oncoming sun
-Not only is it a bad pun, it’s a bad pun from Sinestro.  That’s just really disappointing.

Best Fight:
-It’s without a doubt Laira battling her father at the end.  Not only is it a good fight, but the planet they are on has this technology where memories are stored in glass eggs.  As the two go at it, the eggs crack, and those memories play out like holograms as they battle to the death, and most of them are from when Laira was a child.  Now that’s some powerful shit.

WTF Moment:
-There’s a lot of important shit going on as the entire Green Lantern Corp faces extinction, and Hal thinks this is an appropriate time to regale his student with stories?

Best Scene:
-The end battle in which all the Green Lanterns battle Krona, otherwise known as Parallax, is pretty awesome.  They get to push an entire planet (Oa) into him, so that was cool.  And this is what Parallax should have looked like in the live action movie!  But more on that next time…

Worst Scene:
-One of the stories involves Bolphunga, this battle hungry warrior, who is tricked into going to a desolate planet to find a so called powerful Green Lantern who turns out never really existed.  It’s a clever idea, and the character of Bolphunga is funny, but it goes on way too long.  It’s just him running around a forest being angry.

Funniest Moment:
-When Deegan starts chanting the Green Lantern oath as he fights off a bunch of aliens, he gets through ‘In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night,’ and then he just goes ‘you fricking bastards.’

Bad Ass Moments:
-When the story of Avra (the first Green Lantern) is being told, we are treated to the first ever construct.  It’s a magnificent sword, and the still image just looks fantastic and powerful.  It’s a great moment.